29/08/2009

One of the problems...

with being so vain;
every time I go to cross the road, and it says "Look right", I stop and think "Yes, I do, don't I?"

16/08/2009

A conundrum.

Why are they called "energy-saving" light bulbs...

when my eyes have to work twice as hard to read anything under them?

12/08/2009

Super, smashing, lovely.

News reaches Pickle Towers of an English actor obtaining a part in a US superhero adaptation movie - and NOT playing the baddie!

Yep, it seems that the part of Odin the Allfather has gone to Brian Blessed, possibly the only actor who would have to turn down his natural speaking voice in order not to drown out the God of Thunder.

All of which makes me think; if I was casting The Mighty Avengers purely from our spectred isles, who would be in the running.

AntMan : Ray Winstone. Best line of dialogue "Oi mush! Watch where yer puttin' yer xxxxin' feet!"

The Winsome Wasp : Jeanette Krankie - no special effects needed to shrink her down to size.

The Might Thor : Lenny Henry. Controversial casting there, I know, but imagine what depths could be bought to the role by someone who could deliver King James Bible English in a Dudley/Jamaican mum accent?

The Incredible Hulk - That grumpy faced bloke with the Walrus moustache who does the adverts saying "Had an accident at work? Not your fault?". Face it - he's big, and you wouldn't like him when he got angry. Mind you, you probably don't like him when he isn't.

Iron Man - Stephen Moore. Qualifications - already experienced in playing metal men, and his Marvin catchphrase "I've got a terible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side" could easily be adapted for Tony "Shrapnel Nuts" Stark.

Captain America - John Barrowman. Face it, he's every-bloody-where else.

04/08/2009

Can you tell I'm in a cynical mood?

A problem shared...

... is a problem squared.

02/08/2009

The ultimate in pointless, frustrating activities.

Try this:

Lift your right foot about six inches of the ground.
Draw clockwise circles in the air with your big toe.
While still drawing those circles, write number 6 in the air with your right hand forefinger.

Yep - your foot is now drawing anti-clockwise circles, isn't it?

Just one more try and I'm giving up forever...

Pinches of salt not provided...

This blog contains mild violence and fantasy spider references, and may allude to imaginary events as if they were actually real. Are you tuning in to me, brothers and sisters?