Here's another 80 minutes worth of music for your mind...
1 Sandy Wynn - A Touch of Venus 2:37
2 Spirit - Fresh Garbage 3:13
3 The Forum - The River Is Wide 2:48
4 Marshall Crenshaw - Whenever You're On My Mind 3:17
5 Teddy Bears - To Know Him Is to Love Him 2:24
6 Mylene Farmer - Mylene s'en fout 4:32
7 The Supremes - Reflections 2:51
8 Fun Lovin' Criminals - We Have All The Time In The World 3:41
9 Taj Mahal - A Lot of Love 3:56
10 The Beach Boys - Please Let Me Wonder 2:46
11 J.J.Barnes - Our Love Is In the Pocket 2:45
12 Doris Troy - I'll Do Anything (He Wants Me to Do) 2:39
13 Laurie Johnson - The Avengers 2:20
14 Freda Payne - Band of Gold 2:54
15 Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Loving Feeling 3:34
16 Harry Nilsson - It's Been So Long 2:08
17 The Cardigans - Lovefool 3:13
18 Harry J Allstars - Liquidator 2:48
19 Ronnie Lane And Slim Chance - The Poacher 3:42
20 Robert John - If You Don't Want My Love 2:21
21 Super Furry Animals - Juxtaposed With U 3:08
22 Famous Blues Band - Nine By Nine 3:11
23 Fleetwood Mac - Green Manalishi 4:25
24 Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy 5:08
25 Maxine Brown - It's Torture 2:34
04/07/2009
Shopping in Waitrose today
... and keeping my eyes peeled for bargains, who did I spot filling their trolleys but ex-PM "Sunny" Jim Callaghan, Dick Van Dyke ("Diagnosis Murder" Dick, not "Meeery Puppins" Dick) and, responding enthusiastically to the offer to sample some wine, Leslie Phillips from about the time of "Carry On Constable".
"Blimey," I said to Elvis, who works on the deli counter, "you get all sorts in here don't you?"
He just replied "Uh-huh-huh, uh-huh-huh, oh yeah."
I think next week I'll shop in Morrison's.
"Blimey," I said to Elvis, who works on the deli counter, "you get all sorts in here don't you?"
He just replied "Uh-huh-huh, uh-huh-huh, oh yeah."
I think next week I'll shop in Morrison's.
02/07/2009
Feeling hot, hot, hot.
This clement weather has got me thinking, brothers and sisters; the closer you get to the source of the heat, the hotter you get, right?
So, when you climb to the top of a mountain, you are nearer the sun, n'est ce pas (and I trust you'll excuse the French? So, where do you go if you want to get up to some ski-ing? Are you tuning into me, brothers and sisters? Tell me this then; if it gets hotter the closer you get to the source of the heat, how come that the tops of mountains are full of light dustings, heavy falls, glaciers, and Abominable Snowmen?
I think we are on a wavelength here. Obviously, the source of the heat is not the sun, but the centre of the Earth. Am I right, or am I the Singing Detective?
In fact, I would not be at all surprised if we were actually nett exporters of hot. There's probably a whole bunch of people living on the Sun at this very moment (Sunnies? Solarians?) saying to each other "Oh, it's a really Earthy day, must remember to put on my Factor 40 Terrablock, don't want to get Earthburn," etc.
There's just no pleasing some people. Especially Solarians.
So, when you climb to the top of a mountain, you are nearer the sun, n'est ce pas (and I trust you'll excuse the French? So, where do you go if you want to get up to some ski-ing? Are you tuning into me, brothers and sisters? Tell me this then; if it gets hotter the closer you get to the source of the heat, how come that the tops of mountains are full of light dustings, heavy falls, glaciers, and Abominable Snowmen?
I think we are on a wavelength here. Obviously, the source of the heat is not the sun, but the centre of the Earth. Am I right, or am I the Singing Detective?
In fact, I would not be at all surprised if we were actually nett exporters of hot. There's probably a whole bunch of people living on the Sun at this very moment (Sunnies? Solarians?) saying to each other "Oh, it's a really Earthy day, must remember to put on my Factor 40 Terrablock, don't want to get Earthburn," etc.
There's just no pleasing some people. Especially Solarians.
27/06/2009
Both hands working again (well, just about enough to use a keyboard)...
... and now it seems my ears have improved. After singing along to The Beatles' "She Loves You" for, oh, 46 years or thereabouts, it now transpires that the line I have been belting out as "In spite of her 'to-do' - apologise to her" was, I now realise, actually written by L & M as "Pride can hurt you too..."
So it seems that the drugs I am taking for the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome are sharpening my hearing too.
Pardon?
So it seems that the drugs I am taking for the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome are sharpening my hearing too.
Pardon?
16/06/2009
Parts of this blog..
Parts of this blog have been edited and shown out of sequence in an attempt to make you think that something dramatic happened. Filmed with lash inserts. Post-production enhancements may lead you to believe this blog is effective. 83% agree (based on a survey of 27 people). This posting being shown at near-subliminal speed to satisfy the relevant Standards Authorities without actually letting you know what is going on.
15/06/2009
Proof that “ITV Comedy” is an oxymoron
Proof that the phrase “ITV Comedy” is an oxymoron: “May Contain Nuts”.
Reasons.
1) The title – it means nothing. It has no connection with the plot or characters. Now if it was a sitcom set in an underpants factory, or 18th century Bedlam then, OK, “May Contain Nuts” might be appropriate. But socially-aspiring, latte-drinking, Tarquin-offspringed, 50p tax-rated, gated-community dwellers? Where’s the link?
2) The setting – socially-aspiring, blah blah blah (see above). Does the word zeitgeist mean nothing?
3) The ‘jokes’ – don’t get me started (and, coincidentally, it seems that that was the scriptwriters’ motto). The main ‘comedy’ revolves around a forty-odd year old woman of diminutive stature (not a bit of Political Correctness there, she is just short) masquerading as her eleven-year-old daughter in order to take the entrance exam for a highly selective school. Let me tell you, she makes the least convincing eleven-year-old since Jeanette Krankie stuck a catapult in her back pocket and decided to go the Jimmy Clitheroe route.
4) (And I can still taste a tiny bit of bile riding in the back of my throat as I recall this) The scene where the forty-odd year old woman is trying on pre-teen slut gear (imagine Lesley “Birds of a Feather” Joseph dressed up like a Bratz doll) and her husband (and remember now, this woman is masquerading as their pre-teenage daughter) confesses to be a little ‘turned on’.
I have seen ITV sitcoms shuffle from semi-prime-time into the twilight viewing hours between the showing of the first and second episodes before now. This one, mercifully, is only a two-parter. Nonetheless, I am not sure that they can't find something to fill the schedule where the second part is supposed to be - a double bill of "Mind Your Language" and "On the Buses" might do the trick.
Reasons.
1) The title – it means nothing. It has no connection with the plot or characters. Now if it was a sitcom set in an underpants factory, or 18th century Bedlam then, OK, “May Contain Nuts” might be appropriate. But socially-aspiring, latte-drinking, Tarquin-offspringed, 50p tax-rated, gated-community dwellers? Where’s the link?
2) The setting – socially-aspiring, blah blah blah (see above). Does the word zeitgeist mean nothing?
3) The ‘jokes’ – don’t get me started (and, coincidentally, it seems that that was the scriptwriters’ motto). The main ‘comedy’ revolves around a forty-odd year old woman of diminutive stature (not a bit of Political Correctness there, she is just short) masquerading as her eleven-year-old daughter in order to take the entrance exam for a highly selective school. Let me tell you, she makes the least convincing eleven-year-old since Jeanette Krankie stuck a catapult in her back pocket and decided to go the Jimmy Clitheroe route.
4) (And I can still taste a tiny bit of bile riding in the back of my throat as I recall this) The scene where the forty-odd year old woman is trying on pre-teen slut gear (imagine Lesley “Birds of a Feather” Joseph dressed up like a Bratz doll) and her husband (and remember now, this woman is masquerading as their pre-teenage daughter) confesses to be a little ‘turned on’.
I have seen ITV sitcoms shuffle from semi-prime-time into the twilight viewing hours between the showing of the first and second episodes before now. This one, mercifully, is only a two-parter. Nonetheless, I am not sure that they can't find something to fill the schedule where the second part is supposed to be - a double bill of "Mind Your Language" and "On the Buses" might do the trick.
14/06/2009
9% of people claim they have seen a UFO
OK, so that's what the banner on the YouGov front page suggests.
But how many have been abducted? Let me tell you something...
I woke up the other morning to discover bloodstains on my pillow - I had experienced a spontaneous nocturnal nosebleed. That is something which has never happened to me before.
When do you get nosebleeds? That's right - when you go through some kind of decompression - like going up in an aeroplane - or perhaps something that reaches an even greater altitude. Are you tuning in to me yet, brothers and sisters?
Another odd thing; the whole room was entirely as it had been when I had gone to sleep the previous night. Now let me ask you this; if you were an alien, maybe a "grey", or something more like a futuristic hologram, or just that wobbly faced man from the end credits on the early Star Trek TV shows, and you were abducting someone, would you (a) make a right old mess of the place, opening drawers, swapping the socks around so all the pairs were odd, doing an alien-Banksy style graffito on the wall above the bedhead, etc., or (b) leave everything EXACTLY where it was, so there was absolutely no proof that you had been there.
I think we are on a wavelength here.
You got it, brothers and sisters; I had been abducted by aliens, and possibly (possibly? NO - probably!) been probed. And they didn't even have the decency to buy me dinner first. Sometimes you just can't win.
But how many have been abducted? Let me tell you something...
I woke up the other morning to discover bloodstains on my pillow - I had experienced a spontaneous nocturnal nosebleed. That is something which has never happened to me before.
When do you get nosebleeds? That's right - when you go through some kind of decompression - like going up in an aeroplane - or perhaps something that reaches an even greater altitude. Are you tuning in to me yet, brothers and sisters?
Another odd thing; the whole room was entirely as it had been when I had gone to sleep the previous night. Now let me ask you this; if you were an alien, maybe a "grey", or something more like a futuristic hologram, or just that wobbly faced man from the end credits on the early Star Trek TV shows, and you were abducting someone, would you (a) make a right old mess of the place, opening drawers, swapping the socks around so all the pairs were odd, doing an alien-Banksy style graffito on the wall above the bedhead, etc., or (b) leave everything EXACTLY where it was, so there was absolutely no proof that you had been there.
I think we are on a wavelength here.
You got it, brothers and sisters; I had been abducted by aliens, and possibly (possibly? NO - probably!) been probed. And they didn't even have the decency to buy me dinner first. Sometimes you just can't win.
03/02/2009
Mix Disk #1
If I could, I'd give burn a mix CD fir everyone and give it away free with every copy of this blog. Failing that, here's a virtual playlist. This'll fit nicely on an 80 minute CD (as long as you burn without any gaps).
Mike's Mix - Volume 1
Maxine Brown - It's Torture
Evie Sands - I Can't Let Go
Prince - I Wish You Heaven
Johnny Kidd and the Pirates - Shakin' All Over
The Wailers - Trenchtown Rock
Pallmall - Is She All You want
Booker T and the MGs - Time is Tight (fast version)
Terry Callier - Look At Me Now
Crazy World of Arthur Brown - I Put A Spell On You
The Bystanders - Pattern People
Robert Johnson - They're Red Hot
Dino Valente - Time
John Fahey - Dance of the Inhabitants of the Palace of King Philip XIV of Spain
Timi Yuro - It'll Never Be Over For Me
Ben Fold Five - Kate
The Monkees - I'm A Believer
Laura Nyro - Eli's Comin'
Mood Mosaic - A Touch of Velvet, A Sting of Brass
Frank Wilson - Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)
Jackie de Shannon - Don't Turn Your Back On Me
Al Green - To Sir With Love
Shelby Lynne - Gotta Get back
Otis Redding - Try A Little Tenderness
The Carpenters - Goodbye To Love
John Carpenter - Assault on Precinct Thirteen
Mike's Mix - Volume 1
Maxine Brown - It's Torture
Evie Sands - I Can't Let Go
Prince - I Wish You Heaven
Johnny Kidd and the Pirates - Shakin' All Over
The Wailers - Trenchtown Rock
Pallmall - Is She All You want
Booker T and the MGs - Time is Tight (fast version)
Terry Callier - Look At Me Now
Crazy World of Arthur Brown - I Put A Spell On You
The Bystanders - Pattern People
Robert Johnson - They're Red Hot
Dino Valente - Time
John Fahey - Dance of the Inhabitants of the Palace of King Philip XIV of Spain
Timi Yuro - It'll Never Be Over For Me
Ben Fold Five - Kate
The Monkees - I'm A Believer
Laura Nyro - Eli's Comin'
Mood Mosaic - A Touch of Velvet, A Sting of Brass
Frank Wilson - Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)
Jackie de Shannon - Don't Turn Your Back On Me
Al Green - To Sir With Love
Shelby Lynne - Gotta Get back
Otis Redding - Try A Little Tenderness
The Carpenters - Goodbye To Love
John Carpenter - Assault on Precinct Thirteen
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